Monday, May 9, 2016

My rules for the Island of Little Jimmy

I have created a somewhat large amount of rules that all residents must follow. These will be known as the Principles of Jimmy. These principles all people must follow or they shall be exiled from the island via Patrice who is a large whale. Now the people who get exiled may drown, some may have a very, very, very slight chance of survival with major brain damage. To be perfectly honest, I don't even want people to visit my island at all, but if they must, then they must obey these laws.

1. Everyone must worship the Great Big Mac Supreme. Those who do not will be exiled.
2. Everyone must not argue with my laws or they will be exiled.
3. Everyone will drink from the great Sprite spring that is located in the center of the island. If the Sprite is not drank, they shall be exiled.
4. Thou shalt not partake of the vile Pepsi knock off of Sprite, anybody that does will not be exiled, but instead partake in a long and painful torture, known as Jimmy's Sprite torture (which is like Chinese water torture, but with Sprite, which in theory would hurt more due to the carbonation) and swiftly put to death by firing squad.
5. If you make fun of Patrice the whale, you shall be exiled, but more than likely be drowned by Patrice the Whale. She doesn't enjoy being called a whale by anyone except Jimmy or me.
6. No children under the age of 13 will be admitted at all, except for Little Jimmy of course.



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